2 Corinthians 12:19-21 (NLT) “19 Perhaps you think we’re saying these things just to defend ourselves. No, we tell you this as Christ’s servants, and with God as our witness. Everything we do, dear friends, is to strengthen you. 20 For I am afraid that when I come I won’t like what I find, and you won’t like my response. I am afraid that I will find quarreling, jealousy, anger, selfishness, slander, gossip, arrogance, and disorderly behavior. 21 Yes, I am afraid that when I come again, God will humble me in your presence. And I will be grieved because many of you have not given up your old sins. You have not repented of your impurity, sexual immorality, and eagerness for lustful pleasure.”
Selfishness- acting or thinking of one’s own well-being alone.
Six ways to tell that you're selfish:
- You like being in control and find it difficult to compromise.
- Giving and sharing do not come easily to you.
- Putting your partner's needs first — before your own — is very difficult.
- You hear constructive criticism as personal attacks.
- You become moody when others have the spotlight.
- Forgiving others is difficult.
James and John
The Older Brother of the Prodigal
Luke 10:38-42 (NLT)38 As Jesus and the disciples continued on their way to Jerusalem, they came to a certain village where a woman named Martha welcomed him into her home. 39 Her sister, Mary, sat at the Lord’s feet, listening to what he taught. 40 But Martha was distracted by the big dinner she was preparing. She came to Jesus and said, “Lord, doesn’t it seem unfair to you that my sister just sits here while I do all the work? Tell her to come and help me.”41 But the Lord said to her, “My dear Martha, you are worried and upset over all these details! 42 There is only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it, and it will not be taken away from her.”
3 thing we need to do to beat Selfishness:
- Remember Presence of God.
- Remove every distraction.
- Rearrange the priorities in my Life
The opposite of selfishness is selflessness.
John 3:30 “He must become greater and greater, and I must become less and less.”
Philippians 2:4 ESV “Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.”
1 Corinthians 10:24 ESV “Let no one seek his own good, but the good of his neighbor.”
Philippians 2:3-4 ““Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.”
“Do all the good you can. By all the means you can. In all the ways you can. In all the places you can. At all the times you can. To all the people you can. As long as ever you can.” –John Wesley
2 Corinthians 12:20 “For I am afraid that when I come I won’t like what I find, and you won’t like my response. I am afraid that I will find quarreling, jealousy, anger, selfishness, slander, gossip, arrogance, and disorderly behavior.
1. Why is jealously a big deal?
James 3:14-15 “But if you are bitterly jealous and there is selfish ambition in your heart, don’t cover up the truth with boasting and lying. 15 For jealousy and selfishness are not God’s kind of wisdom. Such things are earthly, unspiritual, and demonic.”
verse 16 “ For wherever there is jealousy and selfish ambition, there you will find disorder and evil of every kind.
JEALOUSY = resenting God’s goodness in other’s lives while ignoring God’s goodness in my own life.
2. What does jealousy do in our lives?
Proverbs 14:30 “A peaceful heart leads to a healthy body; jealousy is like cancer in the bones.”
3. How do we get rid of jealousy?
A. Stop comparing ourselves.
2 Corinthians 10:12 “We do not dare to classify or compare ourselves with some who commend themselves. When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are not wise.”
Galatians 6:4 “Each one should test his own actions without comparing himself to somebody else.”
B. Start celebrating God’s goodness in others.
Romans 12:15 “Rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn”
I Samuel 23:17 “Jonathan said.. Don’t be afraid,” he said. “My father Saul will not lay a hand on you. You will be king over Israel, and I will be second to you”
C. Start embracing God’s blessing in our own lives.
Ecclesiastes 6:9 “Better what the eye sees than a roving of the appetite. This, too, is meaningless. It is a chasing after the wind.”
I Thessalonians 5:16 “ Rejoice always, 17 pray continually, 18 give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”
2 Corinthians 12:19-22 “19 Perhaps you think we’re saying these things just to defend ourselves. No, we tell you this as Christ’s servants, and with God as our witness. Everything we do, dear friends, is to strengthen you. For I am afraid that when I come I won’t like what I find, and you won’t like my response. I am afraid that I will find quarreling, jealousy, anger, selfishness, slander, gossip, arrogance, and disorderly behavior. 21 Yes, I am afraid that when I come again, God will humble me in your presence. And I will be grieved because many of you have not given up your old sins. You have not repented of your impurity, sexual immorality, and eagerness for lustful pleasure.”
4 reasons for quarreling.
Proverbs 13:10 “Pride leads to arguments…”
Philippians 2:3 “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves…”
James 4:1 MSG “Where do you think all these appalling wars and quarrels come from? Do you think they just happen? Think again. They come about because you want your own way, and fight for it deep inside yourselves. You lust for what you don’t have and are willing to kill to get it. You want what isn’t yours and will risk violence to get your hands on it. You wouldn’t think of just asking God for it, would you? And why not? Because you know you’d be asking for what you have no right to. You’re spoiled children, each wanting your own way.”
Proverbs 29:22 “An angry person starts fights; a hot-tempered person commits all kinds of sin.”
4. Wrong focus.
Titus 3:9 “ But stay away from those who have foolish arguments and talk about useless family histories and argue and quarrel about the law. Those things are worth nothing and will not help anyone.”
I Corinthians 1:10 “I appeal to you, dear brothers and sisters, by the authority of our Lord Jesus Christ, to live in harmony with each other. Let there be no divisions in the church. Rather, be of one mind, united in thought and purpose.
3 things about unity.
- Unity is powerful.
Genesis 11:6 “The Lord said, “If as one people speaking the same language they have begun to do this, then nothing they plan to do will be impossible for them.”
Psalm 133:1-3 “How good and pleasant it is when God’s people live together in unity!
2 It is like precious oil poured on the head, running down on the beard,
running down on Aaron’s beard, down on the collar of his robe. 3 It is as if the dew of Hermon were falling on Mount Zion. For there the Lord bestows his blessing,
even life forevermore.”
2. Unity must be protected.
Ephesians 4:2 “make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.”
3. Unity is found in aligning under God’s purposes.
Ephesians 4:15-16 (NCV) “Speaking the truth with love, we will grow up in every way into Christ, who is the head. 16 The whole body depends on Christ, and all the parts of the body are joined and held together. Each part does its own work to make the whole body grow and be strong with love.”
knock knock (4)
book of Prayers (3)
Awkward Conversation (3)
Struggle Bus (5)
Cautionary Tales (4)
Mix Tape (3)
To Be List (4)
All In (4)