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Be A Good Friend

Dad Talks
Part 3
Be a Good Friend

Proverbs 1:8 NIV “Listen, my son, to your father’s instruction…”

Four wisdom principles about friendships:

1. Choose you friends CAREFULLY

Proverbs 12:26 NIV “A righteous man is cautious in friendships”
NKJV “the righteous should choose his friends carefully”

Psalm 1:1-3 NIV
“Blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked or stand in the way that sinners take or sit in the company of mockers, 2 but whose delight is in the law of the Lord, and who meditates on his law day and night. 3 That person is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither— whatever they do prospers.”

  1. The wrong friends will bring you down.

Proverbs 13:20 NIV “He who walks with the wise becomes wise but a companion of fools suffers harm”

Proverbs 22:24 NIV “Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered"

I Corinthians 15:33 NIV ”Do not be mislead, bad company corrupts good character”

  1. The right friends will build you up.

Proverbs 27:17 NIV “As iron sharpens iron so a man sharpens another”

Proverbs 27:9 MSG “…A sweet friendship refreshes the soul.”


2. Love your friends
FAITHFULLY

Proverbs 17:17 NIV “a friends loves at ALL TIMES…”
NLT “A friend is always loyal”

Proverbs 18:24 MSG “…A true friend sticks with you LIKE FAMILY”

1 Samual 18:1 NIV “Jonathan became one in spirit with David, and he LOVED HIM AS HIMSELF.”

Romans 12:10 NIV “Be DEVOTED to one another…”

Proverbs 3:3-4 NLT “Never let loyalty and kindness leave you! Tie them around your neck as a reminder. Write them deep within your heart. 4 Then you will find favor with both God and people, and you will earn a good reputation.”

3. Speak to your friends HONESTLY

Proverbs 27:5-6 NLT
"An open rebuke is better than hidden love! 6 Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy.”

Proverbs 24:26 GNT “An honest answer is the sign of true friendship”

Proverbs 28:23 NLT “In the end, people appreciate honest criticism far more than flattery.”

  1. First of all you need to think about your TONE

  1. Secondly you need to think about your MOTIVE

  1. Thirdly think about your RELATIONSHIP

Ephesians 4:15 NLT “Instead, we will SPEAK THE TRUTH IN LOVE, growing in every way more and more like Christ…”

4. Forgive your friends QUICKLY

Proverbs 17:9 NCV “Whoever forgives someone’s sin makes a friend, but gossiping about the sin breaks up friendships.”

Proverbs 10:12 NIV “Hatred stirs up dissension but love covers over all wrongs”

I Peter 4:8 NIV “Above all love each other deeply because love covers a multitude of sins”

Colossians 3:13 NLT “Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.

Watch Your Mouth

Proverbs 1:8 NIV
“Listen, my son, to your father’s instruction…”

Proverbs 18:21 BSB
"Life and death are in the power of the tongue."

Three ways that words can create life or death...

1. Spiritually

Matthew 12:37 NIV
“For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned”

2. Physically

3. Emotionally

James 3:3-12 NIV
“When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. 4 Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. 5 Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. 6 The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell. 7 All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and sea creatures are being tamed and have been tamed by mankind, 8 but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.
9 With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. 10 Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be. 11 Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? 12 My brothers and sisters, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.”

1. The tongue has the power to DIRECT where I go.
James 3:3 NIV
“When we put bits into the mouths of horses…we can turn the whole animal.”

James 3:4 NIV
“Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go.”

2. The tongue has the power to DESTROY what I have.

James 3:5-6 NIV
“Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.”

3. The tongue has the power to DISPLAY who I am.

When we open our mouths we show the world what is in our hearts.

James 3:9-10 NIV
“With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be.”

James 3:11-12 NIV
“Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? My brothers and sisters, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.”

Matthew 12:34 BSB
“For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks.”

How do I gain control over my tongue?

James 1:19 NIV
“My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry”

1. OPEN your ears

James 1:19 NIV
“Everyone should be quick to listen…”

2. USE your brain

James 1:19 NIV
“…be slow to speak”

3. CLOSE your mouth

Proverbs 10:19 NIV
“When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise.”

Psalm 39:1 NIV
“I said, “I will watch my ways and keep my tongue from sin; I will put a muzzle on my mouth…”

4. CHANGE your heart

Proverbs 4:23-27 NIV
“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. Keep your mouth free of perversity; keep corrupt talk far from your lips. Let your eyes look straight ahead; fix your gaze directly before you. Give careful thought to the paths for your feet and be steadfast in all your ways. Do not turn to the right or the left; keep your foot from evil.”

The Wise Way

Dad Talks
Part 1
The WISE WAY

Proverbs 1:8 NIV
“Listen, my son, to your father’s instruction..”

THE WISE WAY IS THE BEST WAY.

Proverbs 2:1-10 NIV
1 My son, if you accept my words
    and store up my commands within you,
2 turning your ear to
wisdom
    and applying your heart to understanding—
3 indeed, if you call out for insight
    and cry aloud for understanding,
4 and if you look for it as for silver
    and search for it as for hidden treasure,
5 then you will understand the fear of the Lord
    and find the knowledge of God.
6 For the Lord gives
wisdom;
    from his mouth come knowledge and understanding.
7 He holds success in store for the upright,
    he is a shield to those whose walk is blameless,
8 for he guards the course of the just
    and protects the way of his faithful ones.
9 Then you will understand what is right and just
    and fair—every good path.
10 For
wisdom will enter your heart,
    and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul.


Think about these three things…

1. Wisdom is not the easiest.

2. Wisdom is not the quickest.

3. Wisdom is not the most popular.


Three benefits to wisdom:

1. Wisdom gives you constant protection.

Proverbs 2:10-11 MSG
“Lady Wisdom will be your close friend, and Brother Knowledge your pleasant companion. 11 Good Sense will scout ahead for danger, Insight will keep an eye out for you. 12 They'll keep you from making wrong turns, or following the bad directions from those who are lost themselves”

2. Wisdom gives you clear direction.

Proverbs 2:6 and 9 NLT
“For the Lord grants wisdom! From his mouth come knowledge and understanding…Then you will understand what is right, just, and fair, and you will find the right way to go.”

Proverbs 4:10-11 MSG
“Dear friend, take my advice; it will add years to your life. I’m writing out clear directions to Wisdom Way, I’m drawing a map to Righteous Road. I don’t want you ending up in blind alleys, or wasting time making wrong turns.”

3. Wisdom gives you continued success.

Proverbs 3:-1-2 MSG
“Good friend, don’t forget all I’ve taught you; take to heart my commands. They’ll help you live a long, long time, a long life lived full and well.”

Proverbs 3:15-16 NLT
“Wisdom is more precious than rubies;
nothing you desire can compare with her.
16 She offers you
long life in her right hand,
and riches and honor in her left
.”


How do I get on the wise path?

1. Admit that you don’t know it all. 

The greatest enemy of learning is not ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge.”

Proverbs 3:7 NIV
“do not be wise in your own eyes, fear the Lord and shun evil.”

Proverbs 12:15 NIV

“The way of fools seems right to them, but the wise listen to advice”

Proverbs 11:2 NLT
“pride leads to disgrace but with humility comes wisdom.”
2. Ask God for wisdom. 

Proverbs 2:3-5 NIV

"call out for insight and cry aloud for understanding, 4 and if you look for it as for silver and search for it as for hidden treasure, 5 then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God.”

James 1:5 NIV
“If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.”

Proverbs 2:6-8 NIV
“For the Lord gives wisdom; from his mouth come knowledge and understanding. 7 He holds success in store for the upright, he is a shield to those whose walk is blameless, for he guards the course of the just and protects the way of his faithful ones.”

3. Align your life with God’s word 

Proverbs 2:1 NIV

“My son… accept my words and store up my commands within you”

Psalm 19:17 NCV
“The teachings of the Lord are perfect; they give new strength. The rules of the Lord can be trusted; they make plain people wise.”

Stonger Familes

Stronger Families

Isaiah 40:31 NKJV “But those who wait on the Lord, shall RENEW THEIR STRENGTH.”

Acts 16:25-34 NIV “About midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the other prisoners were listening to them. 26 Suddenly there was such a violent earthquake that the foundations of the prison were shaken. At once all the prison doors flew open, and everyone’s chains came loose. 27 The jailer woke up, and when he saw the prison doors open, he drew his sword and was about to kill himself because he thought the prisoners had escaped. 28 But Paul shouted, “Don’t harm yourself! We are all here!” 29 The jailer called for lights, rushed in and fell trembling before Paul and Silas. 30 He then brought them out and asked, “Sirs, what must I do to be saved?” 31 They replied, “Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved—you and your household.” 32 Then they spoke the word of the Lord to him and to all the others in his house. 33 At that hour of the night the jailer took them and washed their wounds; then immediately he and all his household were baptized. 34 The jailer brought them into his house and set a meal before them; he was filled with joy because he had come to believe in God—he and his whole household.”

Acts 16:34b “…he had come to believe in God—he and his whole household.”


How do I get back on track?

1. Recognize

Acts 16:26-27 NIV “Suddenly there was such a violent earthquake that the foundations of the prison were shaken. At once all the prison doors flew open, and everyone’s chains came loose. 27 The jailer woke up…”


2. Repent

Acts 16:29-30 NIV “The jailer called for lights, rushed in and fell trembling before Paul and Silas. 30 He then brought them out and asked, “Sirs, what must I do to be saved?”

Acts 16:30-31 NIV “He then brought them out and asked, “Sirs, what must I do to be saved?” 31 They replied, “Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved—you and your household.

You can teach what you know but you will reproduce who you are.

3. Rearrange

Acts 16:33-34 NIV At that hour of the night the jailer took them and washed their wounds; then immediately he and all his household were baptized. 34 The jailer brought them into his house and set a meal before them; he was filled with joy because he had come to believe in God—he and his whole household.”

4. Recommit

Acts 16:34 NIV “The jailer brought them into his house and set a meal before them; he was filled with joy because he had come to believe in God—he and his whole household.”

Joshua 24:15b NIV “…as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”

Stronger Emotionally

Stronger Emotionally

Isaiah 40:31 NKJV “But those who wait on the Lord, shall RENEW THEIR STRENGTH.”

Matthew 11:28-30 MSG “Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”

How a lack of margin effects us:

1. Lack of margin RAISES stress levels

2. Lack of margin REDUCES intimacy levels

3. Lack of margin REVEALS trust levels

If I have no margin what do I need to do?

  1. Some things need to be SHARED.

Exodus 18:17 NLT
“This is not good!” Moses’ father-in-law exclaimed. 18 “You’re going to wear yourself out—and the people, too. This job is too heavy a burden for you to handle all by yourself.”

Galatians 6:2 NLT
“Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ.”

2. Some things need to be stopped.

Luke 10:41-42 NIV
“Martha, Martha, You are worried and upset about many things, Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”

3. All things need to be surrendered.

Psalms 62:1 NIV
“My soul finds rest in God alone. My salvation comes from Him”

Stronger Relationally

Stronger Relationally

Isaiah 40:31 NKJV
“But those who wait on the Lord, shall RENEW THEIR STRENGTH.”

Romans 12:3-9 NIV “For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you. 4 For just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, 5 so in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. 6 We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with your faith; 7 if it is serving, then serve; if it is teaching, then teach; 8 if it is to encourage, then give encouragement; if it is giving, then give generously; if it is to lead, do it diligently; if it is to show mercy, do it cheerfully. 9 Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good.

Three things that weaken our relationships:

1. Insecurity

Romans 12:3 NIV “Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you.”

2. Independence

Romans 12:5 NIV “so in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others.”

3. Insincerity

Romans 12:9 NIV “Love must be sincere”

1 John 3:18 “Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.”



Romans 12:9-21 NIV “Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. 10 Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. 11 Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. 12 Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. 13 Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.
14 Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. 15 Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. 16 Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.
17 Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. 18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.

Five ways to strengthen our relationships:

1. More time

Romans 12:10 NIV “be devoted to one another in love”

NCV “ Love each other like brothers and sisters.”

2. More prayer

Romans 12:12 NIV “Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.”

3. More help

Romans 12:13 NIV “Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.”

Luke 3:11 NIV “Anyone who has two shirts should share with the one who has none, and anyone who has food should do the same.”

Galatians 6:10 NCV “When we have the opportunity to help anyone, we should do it. But we should give special attention to those who are in the family of believers.”

4. More acceptance

Romans 12:16b NIV “Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.”

5. More grace

Romans 12:16 NIV “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.”

Romans 12:18 TPT “Do your best to live as everybody’s friend.”